A recent Harris Poll (March 2025) of children aged 8–12 found that 72 % of kids would rather spend most of their time together in person, without screens, than online.
Even more striking, nearly half said they’d choose “unstructured, adult-free play” over organised activities or digital entertainment. Yet, the same poll revealed how restricted children’s freedom has become:
- 62 % have never walked or biked somewhere without an adult.
- 63 % have never built something outside.
- 71 % haven’t even used a kitchen knife for an age-appropriate task.
As one commentator summed up:
“Kids aren’t glued to their phones because they love screens — they’re on them because the real world, with friends and independence, is off-limits.”
At Wait Mate, we exist to change that.
Our mission is simple: help parents delay smartphones - and encourage parents to replace that digital dependence with real-world connection and confidence.
It’s Not Just About Less Smartphone Time - It’s About More Real-World Time
Reducing smartphone use isn’t just about avoiding doomscrolling or social media traps - it’s about giving back what childhood has lost: freedom, friendship, and face-to-face fun.
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, has shown that the “phone-based childhood” has replaced the “play-based childhood.” He argues that the mental-health crisis among young people stems largely from the sharp decline in independent, unsupervised play - and the explosion of smartphone use from late primary school onwards.
Similarly, Lenore Skenazy, founder of the Let Grow movement, has spent decades showing that when we give kids small, age-appropriate doses of independence - walking to a friend’s house, exploring the park without hovering adults, solving their own playground dilemmas - they don’t just gain freedom; they gain resilience.
Together, Haidt and Skenazy remind us:
“The antidote to smartphone dependency isn’t just restriction - it’s real-world freedom.”
How to Start: Shifting from Smartphone Time to Real-World Time
Here’s how parents can translate that insight into daily life:
Start with a conversation, not a lecture. Ask your child: “If you could choose, would you rather be on your phone or hanging out with friends outside?” The Harris Poll shows most kids will say they’d prefer the latter - they just need the permission and opportunity.
Delay smartphones - and fill the gap with independence. A smartphone doesn’t just give connection; it often replaces it. Before saying “yes” to that first device, make a plan for what your child will gain instead:
- More outdoor play with peers. This may mean hosting more play dates!
- Time spent biking, building, exploring, or problem-solving without adult direction.
- Unstructured afternoons that nurture imagination and social skills. Local, neighbourhood friends are worth nurturing!
Create a “freedom plan,” not just a phone contract. Many families set screen-time limits; try adding a freedom goal:“Before you get a phone, we want you to be confident getting yourself to the park and back, meeting friends, and managing free time on your own.”
Make smartphone delay a community norm. Pledge with Wait Mate and connect with other parents in your school cohort who are choosing to delay smartphones together. When kids see that none of their close friends have phones yet, the “fear of missing out” flips - now they’re missing out on the real world if they stay inside.
Embrace small risks and small wins. Haidt calls independent play “emotional strength training.” Yes, it might feel uncomfortable to let your child walk to school or the park alone. But every small act of autonomy builds confidence - the same confidence that guards against anxiety, depression, and the comparison culture that thrives on smartphones.
Smartphones and Mental Health: The Missing Connection
Research continues to show that early and heavy smartphone use correlates with increased rates of loneliness, anxiety, and poor sleep - especially among pre-teens.But it’s not just about what phones do to kids; it’s about what they displace: time outside, friendship, movement, creativity, and free play.
Haidt argues that when we replaced “the village green with the glowing screen,” we stripped children of the very experiences that teach them courage, cooperation, and self-trust.Skenazy’s findings reinforce that giving kids more independence - even just walking the dog, running an errand, or playing unsupervised - measurably reduces anxiety and builds self-efficacy.
So the path forward isn’t simply “less phone” - it’s “more world.”
A Final Word for Wait Mate Parents
Here’s your new mantra:
“Delay the smartphone. Expand their world.”
By waiting, you’re not depriving your child - you’re giving them back the space to grow.The Harris Poll confirms what many of us suspected: children themselves are asking for more freedom, more friends, and less phone.
At Wait Mate, we’re here to make that possible - helping families say no to early smartphones and yes to a freer, happier, more connected childhood.