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Sleepovers and playdates should be about real world connection, laughter and fun, not worrying about what your child might see on someone else's smartphone. We get it though. It's a real concern for a lot of parents and carers, and it can feel awkward to bring up. The good news? You can set boundaries without making it weird.
1. Start with curiosity, not judgement
Before a sleepover or playdate, have a chat with the host family. Something like, "We've been thinking a lot about kids and phones lately. It's so tricky, isn't it, what's your approach?" That opens up a conversation rather than a lecture. You might be surprised. Loads of families share your concerns but haven't quite worked out how to talk about them yet. That's exactly what Wait Mate is for, connecting families who are waiting together so none of you has to go it alone.
2. If you're hosting, set the tone
When you're hosting, make it a phone-free playdate for all the kids, not just your own. You can give the other parent or carer a heads up beforehand with something simple, like, "Hope it's ok with you, but we tend to keep playdates phone-free here, no smartphones or tablets. Yes, I'm that parent!" Keep it authentic and lighthearted.
Or ask the kids to pop their devices into your family tech basket when they arrive. Tell them you want them getting up to some proper fun, not just staring at screens. And let them know they can grab their phone any time they need to make a call.
3. If they're hosting, don't be afraid to set a boundary
If your child is heading to someone else's place, don't be shy about letting the host know your approach before they arrive. It helps to have a simple, non-preachy way to explain it. For example, "We're keeping her smartphone-free for now, so I'd really appreciate it if she stays off any devices with internet or YouTube while she's with you. Hope that's ok."
Most families will be completely fine with it. Plenty will quietly be relieved someone said it first.
4. A short story can say it all
Sometimes a real life moment lands the point better than a long explanation of your views on phones. Plenty of parents and carers in the Wait Mate community have shared anecdotes involving devices and exposure to content kids can not un-see.
No parent wants that for their child, whatever their approach to devices. And that's what makes it such an easy thing for everyone to agree on. You're not judging anyone's choices, you're just naming something you'd all rather avoid.
5. Talk to your child ahead of time
However you handle things at home, your child will come across smartphones out in the world. Keep the conversation going about what they might see and how to handle it. Give them a few phrases to have ready, like, "I don't really want to watch that," or, "Can we do something else?" so they feel equipped to step away from anything that doesn't sit right with them.
6. Give your child an exit strategy
If they end up feeling uncomfortable at a friend's house, make sure they know they can always call or text you, on a simple phone or someone else's, for a pick-up, no questions asked. Agree on a discreet code phrase ahead of time. Something like, "Hey, did you find my other shoe?" gives them an easy, low-key way to signal they want to come home.
7. Find your people
The more families setting these boundaries, the easier it gets for everyone. If you know other families who feel the same way, have a chat. You could even set up a smartphone-free playdate rotation so the kids can hang out without screens being a thing. This is the heart of Wait Mate, the more of us who wait together, the more normal it becomes.
8. Focus on the good stuff
This isn't about banning or restricting. It's about giving kids the space to just be kids. Without the pull of endless notifications and algorithms, they get to properly engage with each other, be creative and make real memories. That's the whole point, and it's something most parents, carers and kids can get behind.
At the end of the day, you're not on your own with this. Childhood is changing fast and we're all working it out as we go. By coming at these conversations with a bit of warmth, understanding and good humour, we can create spaces where kids can thrive, free from the endless scroll. And that's well worth standing up for.
When you make your commitment with Wait Mate, you join thousands of Australian families choosing to wait together. Strength in numbers makes every one of these conversations that little bit easier.